Chí lý. In được miếng thịt bò mà hông có vợ nấu thì làm sao ăn?
Hay là in luôn thánh rắc muối cho chả đút vô tận họng như bác Tô lâm?
Miếng ăn là miếng bọc vàng
Muốn ăn một miếng phải mang đến mồm.
Printable View
Chí lý. In được miếng thịt bò mà hông có vợ nấu thì làm sao ăn?
Hay là in luôn thánh rắc muối cho chả đút vô tận họng như bác Tô lâm?
Miếng ăn là miếng bọc vàng
Muốn ăn một miếng phải mang đến mồm.
Huyền trang (bị Bạch cốt tình hớp hồn):
Spanish bishop who married erotica author
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...pped-of-powers
Tu là khỏi phúc, tình là giao hoanQuote:
Xavier Novell i Gomà, who became Spain’s youngest bishop at 41 when he was appointed to the Catalan municipality of Solsona in 2010, is reported to have backed and participated in so-called conversion therapies for gay people, and has been criticised for supporting regional independence.
But the bishop, now 52, found himself under increased national scrutiny at the end of August when it emerged that he had resigned from his post on what he termed “strictly personal grounds”.
It soon emerged that Novell had abandoned his vocation because he had fallen in love with Silvia Caballol, a clinical psychologist who became a novelist in 2015.
In a statement released on Saturday, the Spanish Episcopal Conference said Novell had automatically forfeited his powers after marrying Caballol in a civil ceremony last month.
“This means that although Monsignor XavierNovell i Gomà retains his title as bishop, he cannot undertake any of the functions that relate to that title. Accordingly, he is forbidden to administer the sacraments or engage in any teaching activity, whether public or private.”
(Đoạn trường tân lang)
Vậy là Huyền trang bị "treo chén vĩnh viễn" hả?
Rồi làm sao khất thực?
Có vợ nuôi rồi còn đi hành khất chi mất công bị hớp hồn nữa. Linh mục nan quá mỹ nhân quan.
Đức ngài giám mục này cũng có thể đi theo đạo Tin lành, Anh giáo hay Mọt mông rồi tiếp tục chăn một đàn con chiên của Chúa.
Cái gì mà Chúa tác thành
Gia tô lại cấm Tin lành thì không?
(Catholic dao)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Cũng đúng, không cần ra khỏi đạo Chúa vẫn tròn đạo gia.
Còn vụ chăn một đàn con, thì chắc bỏ chữ chiên ra.
Điếu trang:
hilarious obituary goes viral
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...l-corren-texas
Quote:
The death in El Paso, Texas, of Renay Mandel Corren, however, was marked in somewhat more unorthodox fashion. “The bawdy, fertile, redheaded matriarch of a sprawling Jewish-Mexican-Redneck American family has kicked it,” it read.
“Renay has been toying with death for decades, but always beating it and running off in her silver Chevy Nova,” the obituary states.
“Covid couldn’t kill Renay. Neither could pneumonia twice, infections, blood clots, bad feet, breast cancer twice, two mastectomies, two recessions, multiple bankruptcies, marriage to a philandering Sergeant Major, divorce in the 70s, six kids, one cesarean, a few abortions from the Quietly Famous Abortionist of Spring Lake, NC or an affair with Larry King in the 60s.”
It also lists her many talents: “She played cards like a shark, bowled and played cribbage like a pro, and laughed with the boys until the wee hours, long after the last pin dropped.”
“Renay didn’t cook, she didn’t clean, and she was lousy with money, too. Here’s what Renay was great at: dyeing her red roots, weekly manicures, dirty jokes, pier fishing, rolling joints and buying dirty magazines.”
Đàn bà dễ có mấy tay
Đời xưa mấy mặt đời này mấy ai
Nhẹ nhàng một kiếp hồn nhiên
Càng lo nghĩ lắm càng điên cái đầu
(Đoạn đời tân thanh)
PRESS RELEASE
Miss World 2021 temporarily postpones global broadcast finale in Puerto Rico due to health and safety interest of contestants, staff, crew and general public
The finale will be rescheduled at Puerto Rico Coliseum Jose Miguel Agrelot within the next 90 days
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - After meeting with the virologists and medical experts hired to oversee the Miss World 2021 event and discussing with the Puerto Rico Health Department, the decision has been made by the organizers of the event to postpone the globally broadcast finale at the Puerto Rico Coliseum Jose Miguel Agrelot to be held within the next 90 days.
As of yesterday, additional safety measures were implemented in the best interest of the contestants, production team and spectators, understanding the event increased risks on the stage and in the dressing room. However, after additional positive cases were confirmed this morning after consulting with health officials and experts, the postponement decision was made.
The next step according to the medical experts is immediate quarantine, pending observation and further testing according to best practices in situations like this.
Once and only when contestants and staff are cleared by health officials and advisors, will contestants and related staff return to their home countries.
“We are very much looking forward to the return of our contestants, (who we have grown to know and love), to compete for the Miss World crown” said Julia Morley, CEO of Miss World Ltd. Puerto Rico offers a safe environment and a spectacular backdrop for filming the Miss World Festival!”
Sơn trang:
New Zealand’s beloved loos with views
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...oos-with-views
Quote:
These scenic spots – small, remote, and lacking in plumbing – are a curious quirk in New Zealand’s landscape, and offer up some of the best panoramas in the country.
The department has been appealing to trampers to please “poo in the loos”, saying while most do take the opportunity to relieve themselves in the toilets provided, others sometimes use the walking tracks. Last year, the department reprimanded New Zealanders for not respecting their back yard, as closed borders ramped up domestic tourism.
“If it’s done in nature, it can be unsightly, smelly and unhealthy,” a 2019 campaign video states.
Lom khom dưới núi ngồi vài chú
Chồm hổm bên sông tiện mấy bà
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Bần tiện náo thị vô nhân vấn
Phú tiện sơn lâm hữu khách tầm
:z14:
https://s1.img.yan.vn/YanNews/216722...-9_520x630.jpg
Ví dầu cầu gắn wi-fi
Cầu tre lắc lẻo ngồi hoài khó đi
(Ca ca dao)
Khẩu vị trang (televịsion):
Japan invents lickable screen to imitate food flavours
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-food-flavours
Nếm chua cay tấm lòng mới tỏQuote:
The device, called Taste the TV (TTTV), uses a carousel of 10 flavour canisters that spray in combination to create the taste of a particular food. The flavour sample then rolls on hygienic film over a flat TV screen for the viewer to try.
Miyashita works with a team of about 30 students that has produced a variety of flavour-related devices, including a fork that makes food taste richer. He said he built the TTTV prototype over the past year and that a commercial version would cost about 100,000 yen (£653) to make.
Potential applications include distance learning for sommeliers and cooks, and tasting games and quizzes, he said.
Ti vi này há có vị chăng?
(Chinh trù ngâm)
Mai mốt vô Đặc trưng (nếu chưa đóng cửa) sẽ được thử món ăn của chị Lan.
Hm, thời covid mà, trước khi liếm miếng kiếng nhớ xịt thuốc sát trùng tấm kiếng làm món rượu khai vị.Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Sóc trang: nuôi con nào rào con đó!
squirrel meets a sad end after terrorising Welsh town
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/...ing-welsh-town
Sóc bất ba đào dị hại nhân…Quote:
After the grey squirrel bit more than a dozen people in the town of Buckley, Flintshire, drawing blood on several occasions, Reynolds caught it in a humane trap and had the animal taken away by the RSPCA.
Reynolds, a 65-year-old carer, began feeding Stripe in the summer and for months it made regular trips to her garden, but then it began to bite the hand that fed it.
She reported what had happened on a local social media group page and was shocked at how many others said they too had been bitten.
Reynolds felt she had to take action and bought a humane trap to catch Stripe. The RSPCA came and picked the squirrel up, transferring it from her cage to theirs in her bathroom to stop it from escaping.
There is no happy ending. The RSPCA said it had no choice but to put Stripe down as it is illegal to release a grey squirrel back into the wild.
Điện trang: hiện đại coi chừng điện hại
Alexa device tells 10-year-old to touch a penny to a live plug socket
https://www.theguardian.com/technolo...enny-live-plug
Thương lòng con trẻ thơ ngâyQuote:
“My 10 year old just asked Alexa on our Echo for a challenge and this is what she said,” said user Kristin Livdahl in a tweet on Sunday. She accompanied the caption with a screenshot of Alexa’s response.
“The challenge is simple: plug in a phone charger about halfway into a wall outlet, then touch a penny to the exposed prongs,” read Alexa’s response.
Đụng vô ổ cắm mát giây bất kỳ
(Điện trường tân thanh)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Ừ, hôm kia chở con gái nhỏ về nhà nó, trong xe vừa lái vừa đang nói chuyện, phát thinh cái điện thoại nói xin lỗi tui hông hiểu ông nói gì. Thì đó google rình dữ lắm. Phải rút điện thoại ra nhờ chị nhỏ tắt giùm google assistant.
Rồi cái phone sẽ thâu lại đầy đủ hết để gửi về hãng phone cho kỹ sư nghiên cứu và làm google assistant thông minh hơn.
Hồi xưa iphone bắt đầu mới có Siri, chị đó không hiểu chữ “phở”, tưởng là tiếng tục tĩu của Mỹ.
Dân Mỹ hỏi: Siri, where can I get phở?
Siri giận nói: It’s not nice!
Dân Mỹ cố cãi: But I like phở.
Siri đỏ mặt rủa thầm: Bye!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Vậy là dân Việt Nam phải mời Siri đi ăn phở ở "phố Bolsa".
Hay là thử hỏi Siri ai là chủ tịch Việt nam.
Dân Việt nam hỏi: Siri, who is the big guy in Vietnam?
Siri tài lanh nói: Phúc.
Dân Việt nam hiểu lầm: That’s not nice!
Siri cố cãi: But it’s Phúc.
Dân Việt nam rủa thầm: Thanks, woman. I’ll Google it myself!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Không phải đâu. Chắc Siri chán trả lời nên chửi thề đó. Dân Việt hiểu lầm nên mới rày Siri không tế nhị.
Phố mình sao vẫn chưa có Forum Assistant để trả lời thắc mắc của thành viên? Có thể gọi tên là Sori cho khác Siri chút xíu.
Sori chào: Hi, member. Ask me anything.
Member hỏi: Sorry, what’s your name?
Sori đáp: I am Sori.
Member hông hiểu: I asked what’s your name.
Sori nhắc lại: I am Sori.
Member rủa thầm: AArrrrgh. I’m sorry too. Bye.
Cải trang:
Italian mafia fugitive arrested in Spain after Google Street View sighting
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-maps-sighting
Quote:
Gioacchino Gammino, a convicted murderer listed among Italy’s most wanted gangsters, was arrested in Galapagar, a town near Madrid, where over the years he had married, changed his name to Manuel, worked as a chef and owned a fruit and vegetable shop.
Sicilian police carried out several investigations in their search for Gammino, 61, and a European arrest warrant was issued in 2014. The fugitive was traced to Spain, but it was Google Street View that helped to pinpoint his precise location.
After 20 years in hiding, Gammino thought he had managed to sever all his ties with Sicily. Upon his arrest, he reportedly told police: “How did you find me? I haven’t even called my family for 10 years!”
Rõ ràng nhân quả dở dang
Đã toan trốn nợ đoạn tràng được sao?
(Pháp trường tân thanh)
Xa trang:
Houston woman charged after allegedly isolating Covid-positive son in car trunk
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...ovid-car-trunk
Quote:
According to a court document, the district’s director of health services, Bevin Gordon, was gathering information from vehicles in line for testing at a stadium when she discovered the 13-year-old in the trunk of a car.“[The mother] stated that she put [her son] inside the trunk to prevent her from getting exposed to possible Covid while driving to the stadium for additional testing,” the court document said.
Gordon called police.
Lấy bao rác trùm lên đầu là đủ an toàn rồi. Bắt thằng nhỏ chui vô cốp xe làn chi cho ê ẩm mình mẩy.
Sông trang: con thuyền không bến
Devices that eat river plastic
https://www.theguardian.com/environm...-river-plastic
Nhập gia tùy tục, nhập giang tùy rác...Quote:
But rivers carry a much more regular supply of plastic to the oceans. Research in 2017 found that 10 river systems transport 90% of all the plastic that ends up in the world’s oceans (two in Africa – the Nile and Niger – with the other eight in Asia: the Ganges, Indus, Yellow, Yangtze, Haihe, Pearl, Mekong and Amur).
Mr Trash Wheel, known officially as the Inner Harbor Water Wheel, is a conveyor-belt system powered by currents and solar energy, launched in 2014 in the US city of Baltimore. Long booms with submerged skirts funnel waste into a central hub, where autonomous rakes scoop it on to a conveyor belt that deposits it on a barge, with more than 17 tonnes collected in a day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r2BobbVF8k
Tùy trang:
Gần nhậu thì hăng
Gần còi thì bóp
Cãi nhau, ông gốc Việt ở Texas bắn bạn nhậu đồng hương chết tại chỗ
SAN LEON, Texas (NV) – Một ông gốc Việt ở Texas bị bắt vì nghi bắn chết ông gốc Việt khác sau khi hai người cùng nhậu rồi cãi nhau cuối tuần qua, theo báo Galveston County Daily News hôm Thứ Hai, 10 Tháng Giêng.
Vụ nổ súng xảy ra sáng Chủ Nhật. Cảnh sát xác nhận nạn nhân là ông Sang Nguyễn, 66 tuổi.
/* nguồn: https://www.nguoi-viet.com/little-sa...-chet-tai-cho/
Chắc tại hay phá mồi.Quote:
Originally Posted by Triển
Ăn trông mồi ngồi trông súng.
(Tục ngữ)
Điệu trang:
Face masks make people look more attractive, study finds
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ve-study-finds
Đẹp đẽ khoe ra xấu xa che lại.Quote:
Researchers at Cardiff University were surprised to find that both men and women were judged to look better with a face covering obscuring the lower half of their faces.
In what may be a blow for producers of fashionable coverings – and the environment – they also discovered that a face covered with a disposable-type surgical mask was likely to be deemed the most appealing.
The participants said those wearing a cloth mask were significantly more attractive than the ones with no masks or whose faces were partly obscured by the book. But the surgical mask – which was just a normal, disposable kind – made the wearer look even better.
(Tục ngữ)
Nông trang:
America has a manure problem
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...s-greenwashing
Mỗi loài mỗi thải mười phân mười mùiQuote:
It’s hard to talk about meat, dairy or egg farming without talking about poop.
Manure plays a big role on American factory farms, and if not properly managed it can quickly turn into a big problem. Each year in the US livestock animals produce between 1.27 and 1.37bn tons of waste – or somewhere between three and 20 times more manure than people produce in the US.
The waste-derived biogas industry appears to be booming; globally, the industry is predicted to reach $126.2bn by the year 2030, more than doubling over the next decade.
(Nông trường tân thanh)
Ai chưa chích thì đi chích đi, để ông dẫn chương trình ở Mễ Tây Cơ này ổng chửi quá. hihihi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdqVhw8LFe0
Chắc muốn nhắc khéo Djokovid.
Bánh trang (gói cục Kit Kat):
Nestle withdraws Hindu KitKat range in India over accusations of disrespect
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-of-disrespect
Buôn thần bán bánh.Quote:
But the Indian version of the range, which was designed to celebrate the crafts of the Indian state of Odisha, provoked an online backlash as they featured images of Hindu deities Lord Jagannath, Balabhadra and Mata Subhadra.
Many expressed outrage that the wrappers might end up in “dustbins, drains, gutters” or trodden underfoot, which would be disrespectful of the gods and the Hindu faith.
(Thánh ngữ)
Không trang: phơi đồ rực rỡ!
Irishman faces 20 years in jail after exposing himself on flight
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ht-to-new-york
Trời không mông quạnh.Quote:
An Irishman who refused to wear a Covid mask during a flight from Dublin to New York and exposed his rear end to a flight attendant faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted of assault, the US justice department said on Friday.
Shane McInerney, 29, from Galway, was alleged to have caused the disturbance on a Delta Airlines flight on 7 January.
An American Airlines jetliner headed from Miami to London turned around in mid-flight on Thursday because a passenger refused to wear a Covid mask.
(Thành ngữ)
Bia trang:
Thiền sư Thích Nhất Bia (hay Thích Nhất Bengals).
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJvczUBX...jpg&name=small
Nguồn: https://twitter.com/TSN_Sports/statu...23616152580101
Let’s Go Brengals!
Diện trang: mù màu
Black man mistaken for white suspect twice his age
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...-white-suspect
Quote:
On 8 January 2020, Shane Lee Brown was driving in Henderson, Nevada, when he was stopped by police. According to his lawsuit, Brown did not have photographic identification but provided his name and his social security number and card.
When the officers ran a record check under “Shane Brown”, an outstanding felony warrant for a firearm charge appeared.
However, the charge was for Shane Neal Brown who, according to the lawsuit, was a 5ft 1in, 49-year-old white man with brown hair and a white beard.
In addition to being 26 years younger, Shane Lee Brown was Black with black hair and stood 5ft 7in.
Officers allegedly ignored repeated explanations about the mistaken identity and detained the younger man.
On 14 January, Judge Joe Hardy of Clark county district court confirmed at a hearing that Shane Lee Brown was not Shane Neal Brown – and released him.
Ở đây sương khói mờ nhân ảnh
Ai biết màu da có đậm đà
(Hàn mặc tù)
Tân trang:
‘Virginity repair’ surgery to be banned in Britain under new bill
https://www.theguardian.com/global-d...under-new-bill
Xưa nay trong đạo đàn bàQuote:
hymenoplasty has no place in the medical world, British healthcare professionals were warned today, as legislation to criminalise the practice was introduced by the government.
An amendment added to the health and care bill on Monday will make it illegal to perform any procedure that aims to reconstruct the hymen, with or without consent.
Chữ trinh kia cũng có ba bảy ngàn
(Đoạn trường tân trang)
Mũ trang: của ít lòng nhiều.
Germany’s offer to Ukraine of 5,000 helmets is ‘joke’
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ion-in-ukraine
Hỡi người thủ tướng đã gởi tặng chiếc nón sắt qua Ù kra ìn nà.Quote:
Vitali Klitschko, the mayor of Kyiv and a former world heavyweight boxing champion, who previously lived in Germany, said he could not understand the lack of support.
“The behaviour of the German government leaves me speechless,” he told the newspaper Bild. “The defence ministry apparently hasn’t realised that we are confronted with perfectly equipped Russian forces that can start another invasion of Ukraine at any time. What kind of support will Germany send next, pillows?”
Earlier this week Ukraine’s ambassador in Berlin had urged the German government to at least help by sending 100,000 helmets and protective vests.
However, Germany’s defence minister, Christine Lambrecht, announced on Wednesday that Berlin would instead supply just 5,000 military helmets. She said the offer sent “a very clear signal: we are on your side”.
Germany is also providing a complete field hospital and the necessary training, at a cost of €5.3m (£4.4m).
(Người tình Germany)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Ông này cốt cọp hay sao mà rằn ri dữ. Bai đờ quay, Nhất đâu mà Nhất, Thích Lục Bia thì có, tới 6 lon cặp nách, à không cặp cổ.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Anh cốt bốc này khoái đánh đấm. Nói thiệt là chiến tranh xảy ra, nước thiệt nhiều nhất sẽ là Ukraine của ảnh chớ chẳng phải nước nào cả. Cái kiểu này là cái kiểu được voi đòi Hai Bà Trưng. Hôm nay nón sắt, ngày mai giáp sắt, ngày mốt chim sắt.....etc. Quốc Hội của một quốc gia từng thua trận trong thế chiến thứ hai sẽ không thông qua việc cung cấp vũ khí sát thương hay gì đâu. Cho 5000 cái nón là để các tướng đem lên eBay bán kiếm tiền mua củi lửa nấu trà uống giải hạn thôi.
Nữ trang: trộm đồ rực rỡ
Trial opens of six men accused of daring jewelery heist
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ewellery-heist
Một đêm ăn trộm bằng ba năm tùQuote:
In the early hours of the morning of 25 November, several people then entered the elaborate marble and mirror-clad room housing the jewels and smashed a glass cabinet with an axe 56 times in less than 30 seconds before leaning over the splinters to seize the items with fishing twine. The items included an epaulette, a rapier, two shoe buckles, a hat pin, brooches, a gem from the Polish Order of the White Eagle, a large diamond rose and several skirt buttons.
The robbers used fire extinguisher foam to cover their tracks and made off quickly in their Audi getaway car. It is thought the entire robbery took about 10 minutes. The Audi was set on fire in an underground car park before the men drove in a Mercedes disguised as a taxi back to Berlin.
(Ca dao)
Nữ trang:
Pregnant New Zealand journalist stranded by quarantine rules says she turned to Taliban
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/29/taliban-helps-pregnant-new-zealand-journalist-stranded-by-quarantine-rules
Quote:
She said the only other place the couple had visas to live was Afghanistan.
Bellis said she had spoken to senior Taliban contacts who told her she would be fine if she returned to Afghanistan.
She said they told her: “Just tell people you’re married and if it escalates, call us. Don’t worry.”
“When the Taliban offers you – a pregnant, unmarried woman – safe haven, you know your situation is messed up,” Bellis wrote in her column.
Trai thời loạn, gái thời dịch.
(Thành ngữ)