Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Hồi sau sẽ rõ.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Hồi sau sẽ rõ.
Sớ trang 4:
Hai lăm tháng Năm
Một ngày hờn căm
Một xác người nằm
Hai con mắt nhắm
Một hố sâu thẳm
Một nước chìm đắm!
Nạn nhân George Floyd
Sát nhân đè gối
Thời gian chậm trôi
Nạn nhân chết rồi
Sát nhân mới thôi
Không gian sập tối!
Biểu tình khắp nơi
Nộ khí ngút trời
Kỳ thị lâu đời
Đến khi nào vơi?
Chẳng lẽ chờ đợi?
Công lý tả tơi!
(còn tiếp)
Sớ trang 5:
Các thành phố lớn
Xuống đường hết trơn
Từ Hoa xinh tơn
Tới Cựu kim sơn
Phong trào có trớn
Đòi bình đẳng hơn!
Lật đổ tượng đài
Của những điều sai
Những tướng ly khai
Những loài ma quái
Tội đồ nhân loại
Dẹp đi là phải!
Black Lives Matter
Sự thật sờ sờ
Nhiều người làm ngơ
Không tin thì chớ
Vu khống bâng quơ
Thiệt là đáng sợ!
(còn tiếp)
Sớ trang 6:
Xứ Mỹ dân chủ
Bốn năm lệ cũ
Chừng cuối mùa thu
Bầu cử một vụ
Năm nay hai cụ
Tranh chức lãnh tụ:
Đương kim tổng thống
Mập như cái trống
Mặt thì một đống
Đầu óc hơi rỗng
Có tật nói ngông
Y chang Việt cộng!
Bi đen già khọm
Tài năng cũng dõm
Nhưng nhờ một nhóm
Thế lực đen ngòm
Quyền hành thâu tóm
(Deep state dot com)
(còn tiếp)
Sớ trang 7:
Sau khi đếm phiếu
Kẻ ít người nhiều
Bên đa bên thiểu
Phe thua đặt điều
Dựng chuyện nói điêu
Xua quân quấy nhiễu!
Mách phải có chứng
Nói phải có chừng
Không thể tự dưng
Nhảy lên tưng tửng
Như khỉ trong rừng
Thiệt là bất xứng!
Quốc gia lận đận
Tội lỗi hôn quân
Deep state là dân
Khi đã nổi giận
Thượng đế chấp thuận
Chứ ai gian lận?
(còn tiếp)
Sớ trang 8:
Còn nước còn tát
Tung tin xí gạt
Kiện tụng hàng loạt
Không ngờ vận mạt
Càng quẫy càng nát
Thiệt quá bi đát!
Mấy tháng rên la
Kêu gào ăn vạ
Dọa sẽ khui ra
Bằng chứng điều tra
Chủ mưu chính là
Vê nê duê la!
Georgia cũng mệt
Đếm muốn gần chết
Trước sau y hệt
Tưởng đến hồi kết
Nô mo bùn sệt
Mà vẫn chưa hết!
(còn tiếp)
Sớ trang 9:
Lừa lọc đã quen
Mặt mày trơ trẽn
Điện thoại len lén
Ép đồng đảng quen
Thay trắng đổi đen
Thiệt là đồ hèn!
Đến tận phút cuối
Cuồng vọng còn nuôi
Miệng lưỡi bải buôi
Tuyên bố nhăng cuội
Xúi đám theo đuôi
Ùa vô Quốc hội!
Tháng Giêng ngày Sáu
Lịch sử về sau
Vẫn dơ vệt máu
Thời gian khó lau
Sạch vết thương đau
Thiệt muốn nổi quạu!
(còn tiếp)
trong lúc giải lao để ký tên và bán sớ DVD:
Mỏ vịt lọc cà phê trang
https://www.nguoi-viet.com/wp-conten...COVID-19-1.jpg
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....L._SL1000_.jpg
Ở nhà cũng xài loại này (để lọc cà phê thôi). Lấy đồ bấm bấm hai cọng thung hai bên là voa la.
Dạo này mua mỏ trang cũng dễ rồi, còn rẻ hơn mua cái đồ bấm và mấy cọng thung.
Sớ trang 10:
Tin vui giờ chót
Tổng thống cũ dzọt
Với bọn tà lọt
Giỏi nghề nịnh nọt
Loạn tặc bò tót
Bị hốt về bót!
Bài sớ đã dài
Em xin tóm lại
Một năm khốc hại
Họa trùng trùng lai
Lãnh đạo bất tài
Thiên tai nhân tai!
Sang năm Tân Sửu
Có thuốc giải cứu
Cô vít về hưu
Quốc gia chỉnh lưu
Người dân thành tựu...
"Vạn tuế" to you!
(ký tên và số Táo quân)
Nghe đồn táo Mỹ không có thẻ căn cước như đa số bàng dân thiên hạ thế giới mà chỉ có cái thẻ bảo hiểm có đúng hông thầy Táo Oách Sinh Tơn? :z13:Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Bây giờ Táo Hoa Thịnh Đốn tấu xong rồi đến táo gì nữa, chớ tết chưa đến mà lá cờ Huê Kỳ có quá nhiều ngôi sao mờ? :)
Mỹ không phát thẻ căn cước miễn phí cho nên lúc đi bầu nhiều người bị đuổi về. Làm cái thẻ thì tốn mấy chục bạc mà ít khi xài rồi vài năm nó hết hạn lại phải ra phường xin thẻ mới. Dân Mỹ lúc sinh ra hay lúc nhập cư được phát cho cái số an ninh để nhận diện mỗi người. Tương tự mấy Táo cũng có số Táo để lãnh lương và gửi sớ.
- sớ: từ chữ TƯ (咨) trong tiếng Hán Việt nghĩa là báo cáo
Còn bài sớ của Táo Lin nữa, hông biết là táo thiệt hay táo giả, đăng lên có bị ai kiện cũng phiền...
Táo hưu trí có được phép viết "báo cáo" không, số quân cũ xì nhưng vẫn còn nên chắc là được phải không? Nghe đồn có nơi tăng mức lương tối thiểu để người dân có tiền đóng tiền nhà.Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Nghề làm Táo chắc có lương cao như làm giám đốc chống dịch Fauci nên không thấy có Táo về hưu, tham tiền cố vị, ngồi hoài luôn.
Sớ của Táo cuồng nịnh:
Thưa Ngài Thượng đế
Vạn tuế, vạn tuế
Và còn hơn thế
God bless Thượng đế
God bless A mế
Ri ca, I pray!
Thượng đế chí công
Quảng đại thần thông
Giỏi như tổng thống
(Đừng nghe truyền thông
Từ giòng chính thống
Fake news cả đống)
Tổng thống Đô nan
Trâm rất giỏi gian(g)
Tài sắc vẹn toàn
Khuất phục Bắc Hàn
Đánh tan quân Hán
Ai mà không ngán?
(còn tiếp)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
18000 salary deficit. Sao có thể được đây? :z51:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Ram bô thì khỏi cần căn cước, ai mà không nhân ra?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Ram bô về già nhìn khác hẳn. #Trâmbô.
Ngày Heo đất: winter is staying!
Groundhog Day prediction
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...xsutawney-phil
Tôi đứng trên lầu cây trổ bông... (Phạm Bông Hiện)Quote:
The spectacle that is Groundhog Day still went on, but because of the coronavirus pandemic, revelers were not able to see Phil and celebrate in person. It was all virtual and included cardboard cutouts to represent spectators.
A live stream, which had more than 15,000 viewers at one point, played footage from previous Groundhog Days ahead of the big reveal.
Then, of course, the prognosticator of prognosticators emerged at dawn. The lore goes that if the groundhog sees his shadow, as he did this year, there will be six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t, spring comes early.
This year, as in many years in the past, Phil gave his forecast during a major snowstorm.
The annual event has its origin in a German legend about a furry rodent. Records show Phil has predicted longer winters more than 100 times. The 2020 forecast predicted an early spring – however, Phil didn’t say anything about a pandemic.
https://i.postimg.cc/XNgqSC4V/53-CF1...2-FC3-BD18.jpg
Tuyết hồi sáng.
Zoom trang: tai nạn nghề nghiệp
Texas lawyer trapped by cat filter on Zoom call, informs judge he is not a cat
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...-filter-kitten
Thêm một lý do không nên có con. No kidding.Quote:
Faced with hearing legal debate from the kitten’s cute but worried face, Judge Roy Ferguson of Texas’s 394th judicial district told Ponton: “I believe you have a filter turned on in the video settings. You might want to …”The Ponton/kitten entity then interrupts Ferguson in a panicked drawl: “Can you hear me, judge?”
Ferguson responds: “I can hear you. I think it’s a filter …”
“It is,” the cat-faced Ponton responds. “And I don’t know how to remove it. I’ve got my assistant here, she’s trying to, but I’m prepared to go forward with it … I’m here live. I’m not a cat.”
Ferguson deadpans: “I can see that.”
In the manner of good judges everywhere, Ferguson sought to use the example of human/feline fallibility as a teachable moment. He tweeted: “If a child used your computer, before you join a virtual hearing check the ‘Zoom video options’ to be sure filters are off.”
He added: “These fun moments are a byproduct of the legal profession’s dedication to ensuring that the justice system continues to function in these tough times. Everyone involved handled it with dignity, and the filtered lawyer showed incredible grace. True professionalism all around!”
Cổ trang:
Florida women wear 'granny' disguise to try to get Covid vaccine
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-covid-vaccine
Đừng tin phụ nữ, nhất là mấy "bà goại" bốn mươi.Quote:
Two Florida women aged 34 and 44 dressed up as “grannies” – wearing bonnets and gloves – in a failed attempt to pass as old enough to be eligible for coronavirus jabs, according to local media reports.
WFTV, an ABC-affiliated TV station in Orlando, reported that the pair had valid vaccine cards after having their first shots, but were denied their second ones.
It quoted the Orange County health officer Dr Raul Pino as saying: “I don’t know how they escaped [detection] for the first time, but they came with the gloves, the glasses, the whole thing, and they are probably in their 20s.”
Their real ages emerged later, a WFTV reporter said. According to the station, the two women were turned over to police. Officers said they were asked to issue trespass warnings and no other action was taken.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Nghĩa là lần đầu trót lọt?:)
Ừa làm được một lần rồi ham, đòi thêm.
Được voi đòi tiêm (chích).
Giả trang: breakfast for champions
Cocaine-covered corn flakes worth more than $2 million intercepted by U.S. officials
https://news.yahoo.com/cocaine-covered-corn-flakes-worth-050100127.html
https://media.tegna-media.com/assets...68_750x422.jpgQuote:
The 44-pound shipment, which had come from Peru, carried an estimated street value of more than $2.2 million, according to the CBP.A narcotic-detecting canine was the one who alerted officials to the suspicious substance as the shipment passed through Cincinnati on its way to Hong Kong.
Through testing, officials confirmed the substance was cocaine, the agency said.
The CBP says it intercepted an average of about 3,677 pounds of drugs per day throughout the United States last year.
Most important meal of the day.
Nữ trang: "no show" means "no show"
Beach volleyball stars boycott Qatar tournament over bikini ban
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/20...borger-boycott
Skin in the game.Quote:
German beach volleyball stars Karla Borger and Julia Sude have said they will boycott a tournament in Qatar because it is “the only country” where players are forbidden from wearing bikinis on court.
Yet female players have been asked to wear shirts and long trousers rather than the usual bikinis, a rule which the world beach volleyball federation, FIVB, claims is “out of respect for the culture and traditions of the host country”.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Nam trang: coi chừng sang năm giải vô địch túc cầu
thế giới ở Qatar, cầu thủ phải mặc quần dài.
Không chơi thì trận tan hoang
Chơi thì phải mượn quần nàng oh dear!
(toa Minh Mạng)
Thay trời làm tuyết: GI Snow
Fake snow? Conspiracy theory claims Texas weather ‘government-generated’
https://news.yahoo.com/fake-snow-con...151311503.html
Quote:
But one of the stranger responses to the disaster was the spread of viral conspiracy theory videos on TikTok, Facebook and Twitter claiming that the severe snow was actually “fake” and “government generated” as part of a sinister plot instigated by shadowy “elites”, presumably intentionally plunging Texas into its present state of chaos.
“This goes out to our government and Bill Gates. Thank you Bill Gates for trying to f***ing trick us that this is real snow,” a woman says in one video as she holds a cigarette lighter to a snowball over her bathroom basin.
“You’ll see it’s not melting and it’s going to burn. Snow don’t burn. Snow f***ing melts. No water, no dripping, no nothing. If I put this s*** in the microwave, it’s going to start sparking because there’s metal mixed in it.”
https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/hx...f3b5bd93d69bb3
Hết nước nói.
Hậu trang: nhất Nhật tại Tàu...
Stop doing anal Covid tests on our citizens, Japan tells China
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...an-tells-china
China, don't go there!Quote:
Japan’s chief cabinet secretary, Katsunobu Kato, said the government had not received a response that Beijing would change the testing procedure, so Japan would continue to ask China to alter the way of testing.
“Some Japanese reported to our embassy in China that they received anal swab tests, which caused a great psychological pain,” Kato told a news conference.
Asked about the complaint, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Wang Wenbin said Beijing’s testing methods were “science-based” and “in accordance with the changes in the epidemic situation as well as relevant laws and regulations”.
China’s foreign ministry denied last month that US diplomats in the country had been required to take anal swab tests for Covid-19, following media reports that some had complained about the procedure.
Nội trang:
Chinese entrepreneur sells pensive Donald Trump Buddha statues
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...e-china-taobao
Bỏ tào lao thành Phật:Quote:
The Trump Buddha statue, listed on the Chinese e-commerce platform Taobao, is priced at 999 Chinese yuan (£110 GBP/$150 USD) for the small version, which measures 1.6 metres tall. A larger version, listed as 4.6 metres tall, is available for 3,999 yuan (£440/$610).
China’s state-owned Global Times paper first reported on the product and spoke to the seller, based in Xiamen, Fujian province, who is promoting the statue with the slogan “Make your company great again!” The seller said they had already sold “dozens” of the 100 statues manufactured so far.
One buyer told the Global Times they had bought the statue as a humble reminder not to be “too Trump”.
Trump – whose name can be rendered in two different spellings in Chinese –特朗普 for Tèlǎngpǔ or 川普 for Chuānpǔ – is a popular source of merchandise on the Taobao website, where users can buy Trump facemasks, models, little statues, hats, socks and more.
https://tbsnews.net/sites/default/fi...amp=1615362894
Sen giai
Ngư trang: có cá đổ vạ cho tên
Taiwan official urges people to stop changing their name to 'salmon'
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...name-to-salmon
Đi không đổi tên ngồi không đổi họ, nhậu mới đổi.Quote:
In a phenomenon that has been labelled “salmon chaos” by local media, about 150 mostly young people visited government offices in recent days to officially change their name.The cause of this sudden enthusiasm was a chain of sushi restaurants.
Under the two-day promotion, which ended on Thursday, any customer whose ID card contained“gui yu” – the Chinese characters for salmon – would be entitled to an all-you-can-eat sushi meal along with five friends.
Taiwan allows people to officially change their name up to three times.
But Taiwanese officials were not amused. “This kind of name change not only wastes time but causes unnecessary paperwork,” the deputy interior minister, Chen Tsung-yen, told reporters on Thursday as he urged the public to “cherish administrative resources”.
“I hope everyone can be more rational about it,” he added.
Local media ran interviews with people who had taken advantage of the promotion. “I just changed my name this morning to add the characters ‘Bao Cheng Gui Yu’ and we already ate more than Tw$7,000 (£176),” a college student surnamed Ma told the TVBS news channel in southern Kaohsiung city.
Roughly translated, Ma’s new moniker means: “Explosive Good Looking Salmon.”
“I’ve changed my first name to salmon and two of my friends also did,” a woman surnamed Tung told SET TV. “We’ll just change our names back afterwards.”
Other salmon-themed names reported in local media included “Salmon Prince”, “Meteor Salmon King” and “Salmon Fried Rice”.
The United Daily News reported that one resident decided to add a record 36 new characters to his name, most of them seafood themed, including the characters for “abalone”, “crab” and “lobster”.
Thân trang:
Mafia fugitive caught after posting YouTube cooking video
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-cooking-video
Quote:
Marc Feren Claude Biart, 53, led a quiet life in Boca Chica, in the Dominican Republic, with the local Italian expat community considering him a “foreigner”, police said in a statement on Monday.He was betrayed by a YouTube channel in which he showed off his Italian cooking skills. The videos never showed his face, but the tattoos on his body gave him away, they said.
Biart had been on the run since 2014, when Italian prosecutors ordered his arrest for trafficking in cocaine in the Netherlands on behalf of the Cacciola clan of the ’Ndrangheta mafia.
Another ‘Ndrangheta mobster was arrested in Portugal on Monday. Francesco Pelle, who had been on the run for 14 years and was considered one of the most dangerous Italian fugitives, was tracked down at a clinic in Lisbon where he was receiving treatment for Covid-19.
Có tài mà cậy chi tài
Chữ Du Túp với Dô Tù liền nhau
(Nguyễn Du túp)
Điện trang:
Cá tháng Ba: April Volt's Day
Volkswagen admits 'Voltswagen' name change was a joke
https://www.theguardian.com/business...-voltswagen-us
https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/Sj7H...Mobility.0.pngQuote:
Volkswagen of America issued false statements this week saying it would change its brand name to “Voltswagen” as a way to stress its commitment to electric vehicles, only to reverse course on Tuesday and admit that the supposed name change was just a joke.
The company’s fake news release, leaked on Monday and repeated in a mass e-mail to reporters on Tuesday, resulted in articles about the name change in multiple media outlets, including the Associated Press.
Foolswagen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Thời "thế" mà.
Y chang (Đoàn Dự):
Woman Discovers Her Son's Bride is Her Long Lost Daughter
https://news.yahoo.com/woman-discove...182017135.html
Chắc hồi nẳm đẻ con gái nên phải đánh tráo con trai của người khác.Quote:
A woman in eastern China had the shock of her life when she found out that her son was marrying her long-lost daughter.
The reunion occurred right at the would-be spouses' wedding in Suzhou, Jiangsu province on March 31, according to Sohu News. The shocking discovery was made after the woman noticed a birthmark on the bride's hand, which looked strikingly similar to that of her long-lost child.
Determined to uncover the truth, the woman mustered the courage to ask the bride's parents whether she was adopted. After explaining her story and the identical birthmark, the bride's parents eventually confirmed that their child had been adopted. Details were quickly ironed out and the bride confirmed that she was, indeed, the woman's long-lost biological daughter.
It turns out she went missing as a child and was picked up by her adoptive parents on the roadside some 20 years ago.
The wedding could have been called off at this point, but the woman also revealed that her son — her now-daughter's groom — was also adopted.
The wedding proceeded as planned, but the shocking twist is one detour their guests will never forget. In photos that went viral on Chinese social media, the bride can be seen breaking down and hugging her long-lost mother tightly.
It's unknown how exactly the daughter went missing, but some are raising the possibility of human traffickers being the culprit. It's also unclear whether the woman's adopted son — now her son-in-law — will be searching for his own parents.
Nhất nam muốn giữ
Thập nữ muốn cho.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ốc
Thật ra cái này là "Tây cống", một dị bản của Sự tích Trầu Cau á.